fancy ants.

god damnit i should have finished coding 2 hours ago :(

anyway, lately i’ve felt like writing again. this is rare, this sentiment died in october, or november or something. it’s nice to have it back, though.

for a while there i really thought i would never be happy again. but now that i am taking 0 pills, the sun is out, the grass is nice to lie on, and i feel secure in dating someone who is 2,147 miles away, i think happiness is entirely called for. no more thoughts i can’t control, no more wondering why i wake up going to class every day. life has purpose again and this is good.

next winter i will definitely have to find a way to cope with the tumultuous season. not to mention figure out a way how to get to campus every day (IT’S A 15 MINUTE WALK, DEAR GOD..)

i feel like it would have been really annoying to be around me for the past few months, so thanks to everyone that was.

this isn’t the post i thought i would/wanted to write, i’ll try to get that out tomorrow. too tired to code, good night.

first moment of clarity since sunday

dianeyee:

important quotes to remember for sanity:

“you don’t want me.”
“no. i want you, but you won’t seen to it that i can’t have you.”

“what does an ex from twenty years ago have to do with what’s wrong with our relationship?”

“you think the problem is your body but if you just didn’t act crazy, i’d want your body at 10 PM like i usually do.”

“stop worrying about your face and body. you’ve already made that sell. if i haven’t seen another face for a year now, i like your face. the problem is your behavior.”

as you can probably tell, my insecurities have been ruining my relationship. i can’t let them - you’re the one white marble in a goldfish bowl of ninety nine red ones.

lol dude, i do this same thing (the whole writing to keep my sanity) and sometimes i’m on the verge of the same thing you describe. it’s natural, you get through it.

being confidentsexycool is not as easy as it should be

happy